Paradoxical Romance
by iamaturtleee
Summary: Before... "You know, this is like a paradox." James said. "Why so?" Eleanor asked. "Because we're two objects that contadict each other." "You know a paradox is a statement that contradicts itself but is yet true. How can I be sure?" She asked again. Then, he kissed her. After... Things were never the same... [JAMES II And OC] [Not as dramatic as the summary]


**This is also found in ... Although, I'm much active her so I decided to post it here. 'Cause some of you may not have HPFF accounts. Also, I write the drafts here so yeah.. Enjoy! :)  
HP owned by JK Rowling, the queen. **

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**James P.O.V. **  
**AFTER...**

Hogwarts era was infinite. I lived every second of it. Fun times. Firewhiskies and coke, we were Guinness all night. Now, here I am on my desk in the Auror office waiting, tired, and feeling like a house elf. Work, work, work, that's my purpose right now. I thought about taking a bus to my flat on the other side of London. But, it's my off tomorrow and I want to bother someone with my talent to annoy someone.

Al, my lil' bro. That little twat lives on the other side of London. Like west or east. I dunno. But, I do want to bother him. 'Cause that's what big bros do, right? He's still like training to be a healer or such.

Back on topic James, Merlin's beard! Now, I understand why my dad wants to get me checked up in St. Mungos.

It's the journey to Al's flat that really bothered me. Of all the busses that she could have took she chose this one. Awkwardness Level: 1000. Do you wonder why this awesome and amazing English man panicking and hyperventilating from awkwardness. It is not because someone took his clothes off. It is because this bus is filled with his ex-girlfriends.

Hilda, Romana, Jenina, Lola, Nina, Keidi, Paloma, Genieva, Florence and others I can't remember their names. Fuck! I told you I was Guinness on my years at Hogwarts. On topic, this is really fucking awkward. I mean I met some of them but not all of them all at once. Hmm... I shagged maybe six of them and the rest dated and/or snogged.

I focused on the dirt on my trainers. It's safer than my old relationships.

Someone from their group walked beside me.

"Excuse me?" She said.  
"Hmm. Yes?" I asked.  
"You're James right?" She asked so sweetly. I smirked.  
"Yes, why?"

The crazy bitch slapped me. HARD.

"Aww. You psychotic, b-" I winced.  
"You can't remember me do you?" She asked with a smirk.  
"If I knew you I would have scream your name rather than psychotic bitch" I snapped.  
"Har-har James. I'm Helena! You shagged my sister, Hilda and snogged my best friend on same day we broke up! And you think that slap hurts?!"  
"Yes, but I can't remember anything you're saying!"  
"Ugh." She sighed.

Then, the train stopped and she fucking punched me! SHE PUNCHED ME!

"You crazy bitch that hurt!"  
"I know! You deserve it, asshole!"

Then, she left. I didn't know this would just be the start of my own catastrophe.

I walked to Al's flat. I greet the doorman "Good evening" because I'm polite. I went up the stairs up to the fourth floor. Then, a door smashed into my face. Of course, I winced.

"Awww." I muttered while my palm is on my face.  
"Oh, I'm sorry. Wait, James?" I turned and saw my ex girlfriend, Meredith Turner.  
"Meredith?"  
"Oh it is you! Sorry not sorry! Goodbye!" She said.

What the fucks' sake is going on?! Are my ex-girlfriends trying to kill me? What is this? Scott Pilgrim vs. the world? God, I gotta stop hanging out with Henry.

I knocked on Al's door.

"Dude my ex girlfriends are trying to kill me." I said with no exaggerations.  
"Are you drunk?" He asked calmly.  
"Oh hell no. Have I burned your door yet?" Funny story. Really did happen.  
"Fair reason."  
"Now, are you going to let me in, Albus?"  
"Don't call me Albus. Plus, you're going to get in anyway." He sounded annoyed. Another achievement unlocked! Albus has been annoyed for 7,670 days of his life! I am so happy.

I went in, grab some food and Al and I ate at his living room.

"So, how are you and Tori?" I asked. Victoria Summers or Tori for short is Al's girlfriend for four years. Yeah, that's bizarre.  
"She's still great. Still together for four years. That's longer than most of your relationship combined." He said. That little bastard.  
"Yeah, yeah. I know."  
"What was your longest relationship?"  
"One year and 8 months."  
"Yeah, with Ellie!"  
"She doesn't like being called Ellie." I said.  
"I know, Eleanor. What was her surname?"  
"Abbott."  
"Right. I guess you're getting annoyed and melancholic."  
"I dunno why. The break-up was usual and mutual. And hey, that rhymed."  
"I can't believe you're the eldest in the family."  
"Dude I wanna sleep." I yawned.  
"Cover your mouth while yawning. It's contagious. Plus, you know where the key is."  
"Whatever dude."

Then, an owl came swooping in.

Oh a howler from dad for James. Whoop-di-doo.

"Uh-oh. What have you done now?" Al asked in a tauntingly manner.


End file.
